Friday Thoughts and Things to Share
During my law school orientation, more than a few moons ago, one of the school’s most popular professors gave a speech where she told a story that she credited to Bobby Kennedy. In this story, a young boy was walking along a beach where low tide had washed up hundreds upon hundreds of starfish, all likely to die before high tide could wash them back out to sea. The young boy was walking along and, as quickly as he could, tossing starfish one by one back into the ocean, saving their lives. A jaded older man sat in his beach chair and criticized the young boy. “You can’t possibly get to all those starfish before they die. There’s no way! What you’re doing doesn’t matter.” The young boy paused to consider the old man’s words, then picked up another starfish and right before tossing it back to sea, replied, “But it matters to this starfish.”
Following orientation, that professor took a two-years-long sabbatical, so I was never able to take any of her classes. I wouldn’t experience her teaching firsthand until I briefly attended one of her Bar Review sessions the summer after graduation. It was only then that I heard her pepper her complex legal lessons with crazy personal stories, like about how her father had invented Penne alla Vodka, or how she panicked and told her then-nine-year-old daughter that erectile dysfunction was allergies, only to have this blow up in her face the following pollen season when her daughter loudly told a sniffling FEMALE stranger in the grocery store that she’d feel better if she took her Viagra. All this to say, I don’t know if her Bobby Kennedy story was at all true.
But its inherent parable is clear, and that’s possibly all that matters. After (many blessed) years of never thinking of law school orientation, that memory leaped out of my brain’s dusty storage bin in the wake of these devastating firestorms in Los Angeles. The widespread devastation in our second-largest city has prompted and inspired millions of people, including many outside of L.A., to band together to do whatever we can to help. Online influencers are using their large platforms to fundraise for organizations like Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen, the Anti-Recidivism Coalition (helping incarcerated firefighters), or are asking their large followings to donate en masse to clear out a displaced family’s GoFundMe. These are such admirable, heartfelt deeds, generous acts that both truly make a difference and seem so radically inadequate in the grand scheme of the total loss and devastation.
I want to be one thousand percent clear that, based on what I’ve seen thus far, I have ZERO criticisms of these influencers and how they are using their platforms to help. The total opposite, in fact. But what I keep thinking is that it’s such a “THIS starfish” situation. No matter their reach, there is no way any one influencer or content creator can promote every GoFundMe account, or restock every decimated pantry and closet, or fund raise large enough numbers for every nonprofit doing desperately needed work for different communities with different needs. And you know what? They shouldn’t have to! These recurring climate disasters are caused by systemic, structural problems and corruption, and they demand systemic, structural solutions and repair.
And yet… it would be inaccurate, not to mention immoral, of me to say, or even imply, that this solidarity is meaningless. Quite the opposite, in fact. It’s just such a sucker punch to realize that no matter how many really good people, near and far, large platforms and small, have come together to help those in need, there will be hundreds, if not thousands, still left behind. That as we are forced to endure Trump 2.0 with little to no elected opposition stopping or curbing their worst impulses and excesses, these kinds of disasters will keep pounding us. That’s the depressing, distressing part. But the beautiful, inspiring part is that we’ve proved that we’ll just keep showing up for each other, we’ll keep offering up what’s always described as “overwhelming generosity”, even if, or perhaps because, it’s no substitute for a just system. In the absence of institutional fairness and legalized equality, we still have our kindness, our innate goodness, our community, and enough people have proved they’ll continue clinging to those traits and acts. No one can steal your empathy unless you let them.
THINGS TO SHARE:
RIP David Lynch, one of the Boomer generation’s most brilliant artists. If you want an in memoriam article about his life and work, there are PLENTY to choose from, but I wanted to share this older article, a fascinating backstory and analysis of one of his best films, Mulholland Drive. Written by Lili Anolik in Vanity Fair - but please be advised, the article contains a lot of movie spoilers, so definitely watch Mulholland Drive first if you haven’t seen it
If you enjoy podcasts, You Must Remember This has a *riveting* episode about his 1997 film, Lost Highway
Food blogger and cookbook author Gaby Dalkin is spearheading a daily “Clear Their List” fundraiser on her Instagram Stories. Give her a follow: @whatsgabycooking She’s vetting then linking a displaced family’s needs list from Amazon or Target, and people are clearing the list in a matter of minutes - and many items on those lists cost as little as $10 or $20! You don’t need much disposable income to really help
“10 Practical Things to do to Prepare for the Trump Presidency” by Emily Amick, Emily in Your Phone on Substack
“What They Always Wanted: Zuckerberg, Trump, and the New Normal” by Jared Yates Sexton, Dispatches from a Collapsing State on Substack - “They’re not ‘obeying in advance’. They’re relieved. They’re all in.”
“The New Parenting Gurus Are the Mom Influencers on Instagram” by Eliana Dockterman in TIME Magazine - quite the read for parents! TL;DR: most momfluencers have no idea what they’re talking about, and the few that do are forced to play by social media algorithms’ rules: to build a following they have to rely on moral outrage, black-and-white thinking, and oversimplified messaging, all of which is designed to make everyday moms and parents feel like they’re failing - and YOU’RE NOT FAILING! In other words, please be VERY careful when taking advice
“The Isolation of Intensive Parenting” by Stephanie H. Murray in The Atlantic - WHEW! This confirmed an instinct I had but wasn’t sure was correct: intensive parenting includes those pressure-cooker parents who are trying to get their kid into Harvard at age fourteen - sure - but is very much not limited to that definition. If you are limiting your child’s community and societal experiences because you are terrified of processed food, or screen time, or “bad words” or whatever, then you might be intensive parenting in another way. Really thought-provoking read! Like the subtitle says: “You can micromanage your kid’s life or ask for community help with child care—but you can’t have both.”
Podcasts!
I just started the new season of You Must Remember This entitled “The Old Man is Still Alive” - as expected, it’s most excellent
I love, love, loved the most recent episode of Books in the Freezer, “Most Anticipated Releases 2025”! Releases = horror novels, if you’re unfamiliar with the podcast. What a perfectly delightful listen! Exciting, escapist, inconsequential… except for your wallet. Oh man, my wallet is so mad at me now!!
Thank you, always, for being here, and cheers to the weekend! May it be whatever you need it to be